A new season

A new season has begun.

Yes, fall is in the air and kids have returned to school. They are participating in sports and music extracurricular activities, their homework is starting to pile up and I'm running everywhere on top of all my regular chores. So many new and exciting adventures that bring bright smiles as they run in from the bus or after practice. They are just bursting to tell me the rundown of their day, the math they learned or who they sat by at lunch...

Yes, its all wonderful and good but it's also a little intense.
Back to school is no joke a big transition.

How are you handling it? Are you equally excited as stressed? Or perhaps just stressed and maybe feeling some anxiety creeping in unexpectedly. Either way, a lot of new changes are exciting as well as emotionally demanding, especially in the first month or so as we adjust to the new pace.

I have personally felt some anxiety creeping in. The to-do list and responsibilities for managing my schedule as well as my husband and three children and their individual activities and schedules can bring a bit of pressure.

I begin to feel my heart start to race and the blood rushing through my veins. My mind begins to run quickly and my chest tightens up. All the self-help books and time management lessons start rushing in my mind. "OK, I can handle this" "I have room to feel anxiety but I also have room to work thought it" "I wont push it away, I will recognize it and focus on what I can do in this moment"

blah blah.

Don't get me wrong, these thoughts have changed my life and are empowering me to make huge changes to how I handle stressful situations and create a calm mind and a happy home.

However there are things I continue to work on and put into place to aid in stressful moments. Making them smaller and more manageable for me so I don't break or snap at something seemingly small on the outside but piled up to an extreme on the inside.

What do I do, and what can you do in these few months of transition?

Ask yourself, "what do I need?"
Be selfish and connect with your needs. Put your hand on your heart and ask "what do I need"

What do I need?

• I need sleep.

Sleep is my #1 priority when I have a lot on my plate. Actually my top priority always. I notice when my sleep is off I get hungrier, crankier and forgetful through the day.

• I need silly movement and laughter.

I take a break in my day to go outside and play. I take my shoes off and stretch in the grass or do a few cartwheels. I jump on the trampoline with the kids after school or play catch with the football.

• I need nutrients and herbs. 

Hypoglycemic episodes make anxiety much much worse. I make sure to get lots of dark leafy greens and stay well hydrated. I also cut out almost all caffeine (caffeine makes anxiety much worse).

I supplement with a few herbs, such as ashwaganda, kava extract and valerian root. You also won't find me without my oils. I keep a blend like chamomile and lavender in my purse or pocket. A few rolls to my neck and wrist does the trick! 

• I need to breathe.

Sounds simple enough but I actually catch myself holding a breath for a long period of time when stressed. My nostrils are flaring and my head is pounding by the time I realize it. When I catch myself I automatically just pause and take five very deep breaths as slowly as I can. Focusing on the sensations of each inhale and exhale. By the end of the fifth breath my perception of the task ahead or the stress I am trying to manage is much different and manageable.

A lot of small changes over time is what helps my anxiety. I will forever be a work in progress and constantly trying to better myself by asking "what do I need?"

Ask yourself "what do I need?" through your day. 

Before your kids come home and everyone/everything is demanding your attention take 5 minutes to yourself, quiet your mind and breathe. Find what works for you. Maybe its a walk around your block soaking in some fresh air or sitting in your car before you walk in the door and listening to your favorite song...

Small changes over time, building habits and creating a lifestyle. 

XOXO
Ashley

Mindful observation

Recap on mindfulness.

Mindfulness: consciously bringing awareness to your here and now experience, with openness, receptiveness, and interest.

Mindfulness is:

letting go of the thinking self and tuning into the observing self.

The thinking self vs. the observing self. 

The thinking self is responsible for just that, thinking. It produces our thoughts, judgments, images, fantasies and memories. You may just refer to it as "the mind" 

The observing self may be a new concept. It is responsible for awareness, attention, and focus. It can observe thoughts, memories and images but it cannot produce them. 

Ordinary moments - extraordinary memories

Life can certainly be extraordinarily unextraordinary. Just another day or the same old stuff, different day mentality. Alarm clock, shower, breakfast, errands, diapers, drop off, pick up, dinner, homework, chores.... over and over, again and again. Turning us into autopilot beings.. feeling meh in most moments and unfulfilled as we lay our heads to our pillow at night. 

What is life but a sum of small moments? Seemingly mundane moments - moments that make up an ordinary day and an ordinary life.

It's these ordinary moments that change the course of our day and our life.

I can set an intention to stop in my day. 

To pause, breath and observe beauty around me.

To see the good. 

I can see beauty.  

Insert Mindful Observation

Simple but incredibly powerful exercise to help you notice and appreciate seemingly simple elements of your environment in a more profound way.

Connecting us with the beauty of the natural environment, something I know I easily miss when rushing around in the school drop off, errands, grocery store line or making dinner. 

1. Choose a natural object from within your immediate environment and focus on watching it for a minute or two. This could be a flower or an insect, or even the clouds or the moon.
2. Don’t do anything except notice the thing you are looking at. Simply relax into watching for as long as your concentration allows.
3. Look at this object as if you are seeing it for the first time.
4. Visually explore every aspect of its formation, and allow yourself to be consumed by its presence.
5. Allow yourself to connect with its energy and its purpose within the natural world.

Soon after making an effort to practice this exercise I began to walk with purpose. To feel alive in my world and apart of the beauty God created. I began to feel aware of the world around me and a deep sense of connection to the things that can easily go unnoticed.

My ordinary moments, with time became my extraordinary life.

XOXO
Ashley

Oil me up!

Oils, oils, oils. Yes PLEASE, oil me up!

I know I sound a bit excited and maybe dramatic, (don't I always) but I do love them that much. Oils have blessed my life in so many ways. I want to share them with everyone, I could BURST. 

They have truly become an essential grab and go for keeping myself and my home happy and healthy. They can be found in my purse, my cabinets and always in my studio as a necessary piece to my yoga and meditation practice. I believe they fall in line with all aspects of my physical body, my spirituality and my emotional well-being.

You could find me diffusing wild orange in my home, or rosemary in the studio. I massage frankincense and lavender into my wrists and shoulders when tense or drifting into savasana. Or my kids favorite, you can find us creating magical potions of our own. Not to mention, my skin care routine, medical aid and metal clarity I use them for.

There is so many ways to incorporate them into your routine and benefit from these beautiful oils in your life.

What are oils doing to your body?

Plant medicine. They are Plant medicine. Period. 

Yeah, I'm not an expert on the matter. Who is? What makes an expert... A lot of research? I have done some and will share what I found in my journey but how much scientific information I have vs. personal experimentation/application is involved, you are mostly hearing my testimony of the power I personally feel in the product. 

Science

Essential oils can help alter the physical, mental and emotional well-being by altering and strengthening the bodies own natural processes. They are extracted from the stems, flowers, seeds, and even the bark of various plants. Most oils have a distinct aroma that makes them smell heavenly and deliver healing properties to the systems that control our physiological state.

The deep limbic system is the part of your brain that directly process your sense of smell. Smell is linked to controlling mood, memory, behavior and emotion. The right smells will likely cool the deep limbic system and act as an anti-inflammatory.

Oils can be the game changer in your practice you might be looking for. Different oils can pair perfectly for either a deep relaxing restorative session or an intense workout giving you an extra edge.

A few of my personal applications:

Calming the mind- rosemary

Focus- ylang ylang

Ease Anxiety- sweet orange

Aid depression- jasmine 

Emotional balance- rose

Uplifting and energizing- clary sage, lemon or lime

Boost in oxygen- peppermint 

Endurance- cedarwood 

Sore muscles- basil, frankincense, peppermint

Do you use essential oil in your home? Let me know what combinations you enjoy! 

XOXO

Ashley

Pen to paper

A few days ago we celebrated my daughters birthday at the park. (She turned six!) It was such a fun day, full of sweet girl giggles, tiaras, pink everything, glitter and fun. While out and about I tend to observe my surroundings, being mindful of who is around, especially while I have a dozen sweet girls in my care. My husband and I noticed something that made us each stop and ponder. A few benches over there was a group of middle school age children who looked like they were there to socialize, but every single one of them had some sort of smart phone in their face. We watched for a few minutes to realize nobody had made eye contact or muttered a word to the person sitting next to them.

Now I hold no judgments toward these preteen children. I recognize this is the world they are growing up in. We have a virtual reality on our hands and our children will be in a constant state of reaction and unoriginal thought.

According to a 2017 study, Americans spent almost six hours a day on their smart phones or other devices absorbing information. And Pew Research Center poll says teens are online "almost constantly" - They are consuming a large portion of information they haven't sought out. This information popping up in their hands is coming in via algorithms that large corporations are choosing them to see. Leaving them with a lack of identity, original thought and time.

How can we help ourselves and our children break the cycle? I encourage my kids and myself to take to pen and paper over devices. For my schedule, taking notes, making grocery lists and anything else you can think of to use an app for, try a good old fashion planner or stationary.

 Benefits of pen to paper vs. technology

slows down your mind to think clearer 

limits distractions

sparks greater creativity

While I do love technology and am incredibly grateful for its advances, I also appreciate the opportunity to be mindful, creative and free that pen to paper provides me. Writing by hand is a powerful tool for learning, relaxation, creativity and connection. 

“The pen compels lucidity.” And lucidity, I believe, offers a different and often clearer perspective of dreams, goals, challenges and life in general." Robert Stone


You can treat yourself to a cute new planner, stationary and pens or use the sticky notes in the kitchen junk drawer. Either way I encourage you to get out the pen and paper more often and try out for yourself the mindfulness of writing.


XOXO
Ashley

Knowing my limits

Self-Care

Another very trendy topic and somewhat of an eye roll by busy mamas.

If you thought I was just going to encourage you to take a bubble bath, you are not exactly right, but you're not wrong either.

If taking a bubble bath, getting a massage or spending a few hours at a spa is something you can do and enjoy doing, please do!

Treat yo-self and treat yo-cells

I love bubble baths. I would love even more to throw in some flower petals and bath salts, to light a candle and relax to some music. Yes, sign me up for all the at home spa-like nights. However all the bubble baths being enjoyed at my house are by my 2 and 5yr old. 

If planning self-care time is stressing you out, it's not necessarily self-care then is it?! It's not about what you should be doing to relax or what your friends do to relax, it's what feels good to you. How do you relax?

For the past few months my self-care mindset has shifted drastically.. 

Knowing my limits. 

Knowing when I don't have the time, energy or the opportunity to make it through my "to-do" list or to take care of all the worthy desires of my heart. I love and often repeat to myself the quote "I can do anything, but not everything" We do not have to do it all. "Doing it all" is not required of us.

D&C 10:4 "Do not run faster or labor more than you have strength and means"

I make a "to-do" list or schedule for my day to stay organized but then I step back and pause. I breathe and be mindful of where my time and energy is most needed. I simply can't overwork and stress my mind and body out in the afternoon, I realize I need to be at the "top of my game" for my family in the after school/before dinner time hours. We have things like, after school snacks, homework, dinner prep, chores, additional errands and pure family time. It's a time of family connection, where gentleness is needed.

My sister and one of my very best friends could tell I was trying to push too hard in the afternoon. I was guilty of wearing my "busy schedule" and daily accomplishments as a badge of honor or as if I was worthy of some sort of praise, but really... by who and why? She simply told me to sit, unpug (unplug being KEY here) and rest. Rest my mind and my body. Relax and deep breathe, prep for the evening time so I can be my best self for not only myself but for those around me that truly are affected by my energy and attitude. 

This took some time and grace for me to not feel lazy, like I should be out serving someone or cleaning something. After time I found that I can serve others and actually run my home much smoother with a few minutes of "me time".

Me time: where I sit and relax. Where I might read something uplifting, snuggle with my baby or get a much needed nap. 

Errands are still being taken care of, cleaning or home projects are still accomplished but not by an overworked mama about to hit her breaking point. 

Taking some time for my self-care and personal rest is a priority for me to do before it NEEDS to be done. I have empowered myself and my mind to give up a few good things to do great things. 

It fascinates me that with a little more rest I actually find myself doing more. Being in nature more, caring for my kids more, serving more and loving more. A better inside allows me to serve better on the outside. 

By not striving to do everything, I can do anything. -with a smile too. 

XOXO
Ashley

Experimenting with macronutrients

Alright my dears, let's get down to business. If you haven't read my previous posts on nutrition, I recommend you start there and understand my position on a very holistic bio-individual approach to health and wellness. There is no one perfect diet for everyone, but I hope to provide you with a few tips and tricks to find the right whole foods and a macronutrient balance that is optimal for you to thrive.

Do I believe a "Paleo" diet is 100% for EVERYONE? NO!

Do I believe it's 100% for me? NO!

I do believe humans were designed to eat whole foods that were provided by our creator.

I do believe eating healthy will benefit everyone.

I do believe meals should be nutrient dense, properly prepared, satisfying and DELICIOUS!

However healthy amounts, certain food intolerance, macro balance and timing will look different for everyone.

Getting nutrient dense, whole foods in your proper macronutrient ratio will help you start your journey.

What is a macronutrient? 
They are the nutrients we need in big "macro" quantities.

Macronutrients:

Protein, carbohydrate, fat. 

My desire is to help you have a healthy mindset and be aware of the makeup or "macro-balance" that is making you feel your very best. The balance that gives you constant energy, that allows you to kick the afternoon caffeine, keeps you awake and alert, allows mental clarity and basically keeps you running to your desired level. Do you know what else comes from a proper balanced macro approach.. things like blood sugar regulation, regulating your mood, appetite and hormone control.

How do we do this with out focusing and obsessing on the numbers? We experiment. If you read my post HERE you know I believe we must do the work ourselves. Unless you have a medical condition and are working closely with a practitioner (even then sometimes) we just need to learn to listen to our bodies response and tweak things to fit our needs. It can get complicated or frustrating because your needs also change from time to time. Especially as women, we are cyclical creatures that needs vary on the time of the month or our season in life. That can be frustrating and exciting as you start to put together patterns of signals your body is giving you. 

So we experiment, empower yourself and know you're a unique butterfly ready to spread her wings. Approach it as not a prescription of set macros but observe your meals through the week with curiosity and study... 

Write it down and keep a journal at first. Ask yourself further questions..  

Where is my protein, fat and carbohydrate coming from? 

Are my fat sources healthy?

What is my sugar intake like?

Do I get enough fiber?

Am I eating in patterns... am I grabbing foods that don't serve me at certain times of the day (stressed eating, eating in fatigue or emotional binging)?

Through your experiment always, always allow grace in your heart. You are not doing this to be little your choices or to shame yourself. You are doing this to create a healthy lifestyle and nourish your cells with proper nutrition. You want to do this out of love for yourself with the upmost caution and care toward yourself. Just notice what your plate and patterns look like so you can begin your personal experiment with as much data as you can gather.

Make a journal and allow curiosity and grace to enter into your heart as your approach your experiment.

Remember macros can create awareness they should not create shame. If you feel shame creeping in, acknowledge your feeling and remind yourself why you are taking a new approach and empower yourself through change.

Foods isn't JUST calories, food is a beautiful makeup of  medicine, fuel and love for our bodies.

XOXO
Ashley

Peacefully on fire

For years and years I have imagined what turning 30 would feel like. Would I finally have it all together? Would I be in touch with my heart, body and soul? Would I have a more accurate sense of who I was, what I want and how to get there?

Here I am, I just celebrated what I consider the best birthday yet and although I may not have it all together, I like to think I'm pretty dang close.

Thirty already feels like my year.

It will be different.

I am different. 

I have felt changes being made for quite some time now. When I step back and pause, when I really reflect on how my life has been molded the past 30, 10 and even more specifically 5 years it is truly emotional and eye opening for me. I can see God’s timing in everything. I can see my struggles being molded into strengths, my trials into blessings and my insecurities challenging me to grow.

So, in the spirit of turning one year older and embarking on a fresh new decade, I decided to set intentions for this coming of age and turning point in my life.

• be true to myself 
• live unapologetically
• simplify
• stay connected
• gratitude in all things 
• be mindful

This year a lot of changes are being made and I am actively creating the life I want to live. I am surrounding myself with positivity, love, empowerment and greatness from within. I believe in myself and I believe in my worth. I am in love with my own skin and captivated with the charm of my flaws. I love my husband fiercely and our children deeply. I am obsessively grateful for my life and for the love I have around me. I am passionate about my work as a wife, mother and women. I want to spread love and empowerment like wildfire. I want to strengthen women and families and shine light in every corner I can reach. I am peacefully on fire and I want to share it with the world.